Everyone has heard the old adage: “be careful what you wish
for”. Well, that is also applicable to “be careful what you pray for” and my
new favorite, “be careful what you publically challenge yourself about”. My
word for this year is Brave. I promised to be brave. To pray for bravery. And to
stand up to the challenge to seek bravery in my life. I feel like God is
saying, “Ta da!”
Today, church challenged us to write down the one thing that
is holding us back. The one thing we stress over and that causes us not to give
life our all. There are several things in my life that hold me back, but what I
realized is, that the root of them all is FEAR. Fear of failure. Fear of
disappointing others. Fear of rejection. Fear of debt. Fear of shame. All of
these are individual and I need to work through them, but addressing the root:
Fear, demands bravery. It demands that I look my fear in the face and say, “I
can survive you. Nothing you can do to me will end me.” But where does that
bravery come from? Well, that is the irony, isn’t it? It comes from facing the
fear.
I recognized my “one thing” during a beautiful worship song
titled Oceans, by Hillsong (which BTW
I’ve been listening to on repeat for the last 75 minutes). I highly recommend it! The refrain says:
Sprit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.
And my faith
would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
God reminded me that in my fear, I am EXACTLY where he knew
I would be on day 11, 941 of my life. That my life will never be a disappointment
to him. He knew every one of my days before I was born and knew my every choice
would lead me to right where he would want me. So take that fear! If I trust in
Him, His calling, and His plan, then this bravery challenge is another step on
the path he laid out for me.
So, when I fear failure, or unworthiness, or rejection, I am
going to continue to be brave and pray that my trust will bring me farther than
I could ever imagine and that I will be stronger and better and more brave for
it. I will know that despite human reaction, God will love me and provide me with a support that will see me through. That ultimately, I have nothing to fear because in the end, he is the one in control and he will love me in spite of EVERYTHING I will ever do. Fear has no place in face of this journey.
But, I will still caution you, be careful what you “wish for” because in
order to gain something, you have to learn or earn it, and often, that does not
come easy.....but I know, I hope, I pray, it will be worth it.
