I love snow! I mean, really, always love it!
This morning I woke up to 2 inches on my car and loved cleaning it off just a little faster than it was falling. My favorite part of the snow is when it sticks and builds on tree branches and covers everything in white. The picture I see when I look at the tree branches piled with snow is peace, silence and perfection. I find that the snow mutes the craziness that is life and causes everything to slow. The crisp image of the snow covered branch causes me to stop and appreciate the perfection of the moment. To take in a beautiful landscape.
My favorite part of this morning was my drive to work. While taking in the awesome site, an oldie but goodie came on: Whitney Houston's I Want To Dance With Somebody. I used to blast her tape, yes as in '80s cassette tape, every Saturday morning while I scrubbed the bathroom (my weekly chore). Of course I still know all the words! So what did I do? I blasted the music and sang at the top of my lungs in my car (in second gear with the overdrive off) and continued my 25 mph drive to work in the snow. It was an awesome moment. I just drank in the beauty of the environment and relived a childhood moment with passion and intensity.
I just wanted to share this morning to help bring a smile to your face and to inspire you to find a moment of joy where you can. I challenge you to find one today. I pray that LG will find one too.
Happy "Thundersnow" Wednesday!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Flexibility Breeds Patience
I've always said that patience is NOT one of my virtues...but it is something I have been working on. Thank godness, because life often requires patience and flexibility.
Hahneman Hospital here in Philly is the site of my donation. They called last week to schedule my physical. Feb. 2nd. It is a 3 hour procedure of EKGs, Scans, yada yada. Sounds like fun. I'm also going to give a pint of blood to have given back to me during my surgery. It is not required because my donation will be small, but a.) It will be nice to have a back up just in case, and b.) I hear it will help speed up the healing process. So that'd definitely a plus!
I was also notified by my Specialist Carolyn, that the date of the donation will likely be pushed back to the next week. Either March 6th or 8th. This week actually works great because it is Spring Break so there are no students, classes or visiting sessions scheduled at work, so I won't be worried about not being there while recuperating. Plus, I can read files from home...if I feel up to it.
So not too much news, just lots of waiting. Thank you for your prayers for health and for patience. I'm keep up with them too. :-)
Hahneman Hospital here in Philly is the site of my donation. They called last week to schedule my physical. Feb. 2nd. It is a 3 hour procedure of EKGs, Scans, yada yada. Sounds like fun. I'm also going to give a pint of blood to have given back to me during my surgery. It is not required because my donation will be small, but a.) It will be nice to have a back up just in case, and b.) I hear it will help speed up the healing process. So that'd definitely a plus!
I was also notified by my Specialist Carolyn, that the date of the donation will likely be pushed back to the next week. Either March 6th or 8th. This week actually works great because it is Spring Break so there are no students, classes or visiting sessions scheduled at work, so I won't be worried about not being there while recuperating. Plus, I can read files from home...if I feel up to it.
So not too much news, just lots of waiting. Thank you for your prayers for health and for patience. I'm keep up with them too. :-)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Intentional Prayer
What are you waiting for?
I am really enjoying my church here in Philly. It's called Epic. The sermon series we're on right now is titled: An Epic Life. This week was about prayer. Do you do it? How often? What do you pray for? So...I felt a little convicted. Ok, a lot convicted. I don't pray nearly as often as I could. Notice I didn't say should, because there is no magic number of how many times or how long or about what you should pray. But I found myself most convicted in the area of asking for prayer where I fail to pray myself. Or of saying, "I'll be praying for you" and then forgetting to pray.
I am usually too busy to pray or I forget or I feel like I'm not in a place to lay it all out for God right then. Ha! That presumes that he knows nothing about my life when he knows the number of hairs on my head. Ok, so maybe I'm just too busy to stop my life and say thank you or ask for forgiveness. Reading that sentence back to myself makes me really sad. I should never be too busy for God, especially when he is never too busy for me. Jesus says in John 14:14 "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." Anything. Today I learned that this could mean, something as small as a daily meal, to something as big as healing Little Girl. But the key is, I have to ask. I have to take the time whether it's 10 seconds or 10 minutes.
1 John 1:9 tells us to "confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." On the spot; just like that. If God can forgive in a moment, we can ask in a moment. If you don't know how, just talk. Talk to God like you're talking to your bestfriend. Practice prayer. Practice daily, multiple times a day. When the phone rings, "God, please let this conversation be a positive experience for us both. Amen." Before you go into a meeting, "God, I pray for your will to be done and for us to find a positive solution. Amen." When I give blood, "God, please let the tests go well and for my continued health and match to LG. Amen." It doesn't have to be hard, but it does take intention.
Today I am challenging myself to pray in the moment. When I promise someone that I will "be praying for them," I'm going to do it right then. When I ask for prayers on this blog, I'm going to stop where I'm typing and say a prayer. I encourage you to do the same. If you have anything that I can be praying about for you, please do not hesitate to share that with me. I will pray for you.
Martin Luther said, "None can believe how powerful prayer is, and what it is able to effect, but those who have learned it by experience." I am praying that my marrow will cure Little Girl. Will you pray for it too? Will you pray for your own experience?
"So you want to change the world, what are you waiting for? It only takes one voice, go on, shout it out." -Natalie Grant
I am really enjoying my church here in Philly. It's called Epic. The sermon series we're on right now is titled: An Epic Life. This week was about prayer. Do you do it? How often? What do you pray for? So...I felt a little convicted. Ok, a lot convicted. I don't pray nearly as often as I could. Notice I didn't say should, because there is no magic number of how many times or how long or about what you should pray. But I found myself most convicted in the area of asking for prayer where I fail to pray myself. Or of saying, "I'll be praying for you" and then forgetting to pray.
I am usually too busy to pray or I forget or I feel like I'm not in a place to lay it all out for God right then. Ha! That presumes that he knows nothing about my life when he knows the number of hairs on my head. Ok, so maybe I'm just too busy to stop my life and say thank you or ask for forgiveness. Reading that sentence back to myself makes me really sad. I should never be too busy for God, especially when he is never too busy for me. Jesus says in John 14:14 "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." Anything. Today I learned that this could mean, something as small as a daily meal, to something as big as healing Little Girl. But the key is, I have to ask. I have to take the time whether it's 10 seconds or 10 minutes.
1 John 1:9 tells us to "confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." On the spot; just like that. If God can forgive in a moment, we can ask in a moment. If you don't know how, just talk. Talk to God like you're talking to your bestfriend. Practice prayer. Practice daily, multiple times a day. When the phone rings, "God, please let this conversation be a positive experience for us both. Amen." Before you go into a meeting, "God, I pray for your will to be done and for us to find a positive solution. Amen." When I give blood, "God, please let the tests go well and for my continued health and match to LG. Amen." It doesn't have to be hard, but it does take intention.
Today I am challenging myself to pray in the moment. When I promise someone that I will "be praying for them," I'm going to do it right then. When I ask for prayers on this blog, I'm going to stop where I'm typing and say a prayer. I encourage you to do the same. If you have anything that I can be praying about for you, please do not hesitate to share that with me. I will pray for you.
Martin Luther said, "None can believe how powerful prayer is, and what it is able to effect, but those who have learned it by experience." I am praying that my marrow will cure Little Girl. Will you pray for it too? Will you pray for your own experience?
"So you want to change the world, what are you waiting for? It only takes one voice, go on, shout it out." -Natalie Grant
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Informational Interview
You sort of sound like you know what you're talking about...
These were the words from Carolyn, my Donor Resources Specialist during my Informational Phone Interview this morning. Me? Why would you say that? :-) I explained to her our family's story and the fact that we've been through the donation process before with my Mom. But I still had questions about the marrow donation aspect since my Mom had done the stem cell process. Carolyn was wonderful. She walked me through the process and made sure I didn't have any questions. So here are some updates:
1. I may not need a blood transfusion during the donation because the amount of marrow needed is small. I will likely still donate at least 1 unit of blood just in case.
2. Little Girl ("LG") is currently in remission! This is wonderful news! Both for her, but also for the transplant process. Collection date is still set for March 2nd and she needs to be in remission to go ahead with the transplant, so please keep her continued remission in your prayers.
3. Whoever stays with me at the hospital gets to eat for free that day! I get a reimbursement for myself and my caretaker for mileage, parking and food. I will start a waiting list... :-)
4. As previously thought, I will not be able to contact or be contacted by the donor family until at least a year following the transplant. This is completely understandable, but I am bummed as I would love to provide comfort and be a part of their process. I will likely get updates over the year with her prognosis (whether good or bad) and that should help.
Today, my mood is excited. I'm thankful to hear that "LG" is in remission and that I have no infectious diseases. I am excited that there are over 10 million people worldwide in the Be The Match Database and that matches are made everyday. I am excited that I am healthy and have the ability to give to this little girl and to inspire you to make a difference too.
These were the words from Carolyn, my Donor Resources Specialist during my Informational Phone Interview this morning. Me? Why would you say that? :-) I explained to her our family's story and the fact that we've been through the donation process before with my Mom. But I still had questions about the marrow donation aspect since my Mom had done the stem cell process. Carolyn was wonderful. She walked me through the process and made sure I didn't have any questions. So here are some updates:
1. I may not need a blood transfusion during the donation because the amount of marrow needed is small. I will likely still donate at least 1 unit of blood just in case.
2. Little Girl ("LG") is currently in remission! This is wonderful news! Both for her, but also for the transplant process. Collection date is still set for March 2nd and she needs to be in remission to go ahead with the transplant, so please keep her continued remission in your prayers.
3. Whoever stays with me at the hospital gets to eat for free that day! I get a reimbursement for myself and my caretaker for mileage, parking and food. I will start a waiting list... :-)
4. As previously thought, I will not be able to contact or be contacted by the donor family until at least a year following the transplant. This is completely understandable, but I am bummed as I would love to provide comfort and be a part of their process. I will likely get updates over the year with her prognosis (whether good or bad) and that should help.
Today, my mood is excited. I'm thankful to hear that "LG" is in remission and that I have no infectious diseases. I am excited that there are over 10 million people worldwide in the Be The Match Database and that matches are made everyday. I am excited that I am healthy and have the ability to give to this little girl and to inspire you to make a difference too.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
So Much Information
So much to read, so much to sign.
Today I received a 3 pound FedEx box from the Registry with a DVD, 2 packets of information and about 6 consent forms. I read through everything, like a good lawyer should...and wouldn't you know that they all said the same thing over and over. I guess I won't have a reason to say, "I didn't know".
For example, did you know that under general anesthesia they may have to put a tube down your throat? I didn't! Did I know that there would be at least 2 injection sites into my lower back where they would stick a huge hollow needle with a syringe attached to each to collect the marrow? Nope! Did I know I was probably going to need a blood transfusion during the collection? Ummm, no. But at least I've had the experience donating blood before and they will collect my blood prior to the surgery so they can feed it back to me. Don't be alarmed if I suddenly grow fangs and try to exercise mind control. Just tapping into my inner Bella. (*Twilight reference for those of you living under a rock) :-)
The human body is an amazing, complex organism that regenerates what is lost rather quickly. For example, they could take up to a quart of my bone marrow and my body will replenish it within a couple of weeks. And, there will be little to no side effects. Well, except for the redness, tenderness, low grade fever, and chance of vomiting. What are friends for? I didn't ask them to hold my hair in college...maybe I'll ask now. LOL.
Today I also learned that "Little Girl" has the more rare form of Acute Lymphoma. Of course she does, because I like a challenge! The Acute "M" Lymphoma affects only about 38% of all pediatric acute lymphoma patients. While figures for this childhood leukemia remission and cure are not readily available, about 90% of overall childhood leukemia patients find themselves in remission. If she can make it to the 5 year mark, she will be considered cured. The older patients get, the less successful the remission, so I guess we're lucky she is so young.
I also learned that I will not be able to know anything further about her for at least a year. I may get updates on her condition, but this is not guaranteed. I plan to express my desire to be available for contact, but the Registry has strict guidelines and of course, consent forms for these situations. Damn lawyers! I hope, someday, I'll get to meet her and her family.
Well, tomorrow is my "Informational Interview" over the phone. Carolyn and I get to go over all the documents I have read, in detail, and then I get to sign everything and send it to her. I don't anticipate any surprises...but I'll keep you updated.
Today I am a little more nervous only because I've seen descriptions of the actual donation process. I've never been admitted to the hospital before so the prospect of a throat tube and pee bag are not so appealing. But, I am reminded that it is worth it. Life is definitely worth it. More soon!
Today I received a 3 pound FedEx box from the Registry with a DVD, 2 packets of information and about 6 consent forms. I read through everything, like a good lawyer should...and wouldn't you know that they all said the same thing over and over. I guess I won't have a reason to say, "I didn't know".
For example, did you know that under general anesthesia they may have to put a tube down your throat? I didn't! Did I know that there would be at least 2 injection sites into my lower back where they would stick a huge hollow needle with a syringe attached to each to collect the marrow? Nope! Did I know I was probably going to need a blood transfusion during the collection? Ummm, no. But at least I've had the experience donating blood before and they will collect my blood prior to the surgery so they can feed it back to me. Don't be alarmed if I suddenly grow fangs and try to exercise mind control. Just tapping into my inner Bella. (*Twilight reference for those of you living under a rock) :-)
The human body is an amazing, complex organism that regenerates what is lost rather quickly. For example, they could take up to a quart of my bone marrow and my body will replenish it within a couple of weeks. And, there will be little to no side effects. Well, except for the redness, tenderness, low grade fever, and chance of vomiting. What are friends for? I didn't ask them to hold my hair in college...maybe I'll ask now. LOL.
Today I also learned that "Little Girl" has the more rare form of Acute Lymphoma. Of course she does, because I like a challenge! The Acute "M" Lymphoma affects only about 38% of all pediatric acute lymphoma patients. While figures for this childhood leukemia remission and cure are not readily available, about 90% of overall childhood leukemia patients find themselves in remission. If she can make it to the 5 year mark, she will be considered cured. The older patients get, the less successful the remission, so I guess we're lucky she is so young.
I also learned that I will not be able to know anything further about her for at least a year. I may get updates on her condition, but this is not guaranteed. I plan to express my desire to be available for contact, but the Registry has strict guidelines and of course, consent forms for these situations. Damn lawyers! I hope, someday, I'll get to meet her and her family.
Well, tomorrow is my "Informational Interview" over the phone. Carolyn and I get to go over all the documents I have read, in detail, and then I get to sign everything and send it to her. I don't anticipate any surprises...but I'll keep you updated.
Today I am a little more nervous only because I've seen descriptions of the actual donation process. I've never been admitted to the hospital before so the prospect of a throat tube and pee bag are not so appealing. But, I am reminded that it is worth it. Life is definitely worth it. More soon!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
My Journey Begins
Nearly every life is touched by cancer.
It is no longer rare, it is all around us. In the blood, the breast, the brain, the bones; everywhere. And it often sneaks up on you. I have 2 Aunts who have beat breast cancer and a mother who is defying the odds against Blastic Mantle Cell Lymphoma. If you have watched a family member or close friend fight this disease, you know the feeling of hopelessness and rage; fatigue and sadness; fear and despair. But you also know the hope of positive test results, the joy that brings relief, and the optimism that medicine provides.
January 2007 was a life changing month for me. I accepted a new job, moved to "the" big city, and within a week learned that my Mom had been diagnosed with cancer. Not just any cancer, but one of the most rare and aggressive cancers that ironically enough, typically strikes men in their 60s. My Mom was 46 1/2 and within a month of celebrating her engagement to her future husband. Where in the book of life does that qualify as "fair"? The odds of her making it 5 years was about a 60% chance (much better than the 15% only 5 years before). She accepted the plan for the most aggressive chemo treatment on the books and was admitted shortly thereafter to begin her battle. It was made clear that she would need a stem cell/bone marrow transplant when the chemo regimen was done. Everyone in the family who was eligible was tested. The most likely match would be found among a sibling, however this was not the case for my Mom. No family member is a match.
This is my inspiration. The rage, desperation and lack of control that I felt when I was told there was nothing physically that I could do to help save my Mom, was paralyzing. When your personality is to fix, heal, comfort and love, how do you release the anger you have towards God for not giving you the right HLA composition? Well, you forgive yourself for being angry with God, because it isn't his fault. Then you forgive your body for "betraying" you, and you look for other opportunities to comfort and love those suffering. For me, I placed my bone marrow in the National Bone Marrow Registry Database hoping that someday there may be someone in the same situation who could use my help.
In September 2010, I was contacted via email by the Be The Match - National Bone Marrow Registry (NBMR) telling me that I was a possible match for someone. Was I still interested? Yes! In early December, they contacted to ask if they could test my cheek swab for further typing. Yes! Why haven't you done it already? :-) In late December, they contacted to tell me that I was a match, but they needed to do further blood testing to ensure I was healthy and the best match. 4 viles of blood later... I received a call on Friday, January 7. "Erin, you are the donor of choice for a 2 year little girl battling Acute Leukemia. Are you still interested in donating your bone marrow?"
The collection date is set for March 2nd. I have more testing to complete and more to learn about the donation process, but I am so excited to be giving the gift of hope and life to this little girl and her family. I hope the feelings of hopelessness, rage and exhaustion that her family must be feeling will dissolve with this donation. A moment of pain (via a big needle in my hip) will be worth the opportunity to give this little girl a future. Her first day of school, first bike ride, first kiss, her own Prince Charming. I pray that this is her cure.
Join me on my journey as I document the physial process of donation, as well as my emotional and faith journey. I titled this blog "Our Numbered Days" because David reminds us in Psalm 90 and 39 that we are mortal; we have only today. Embrace today and the opportunities that are given. Not one of us is promised a tomorrow. What a gift it is to be reminded to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the moment we are in. I find love and opportunity in this moment and encourage you to do the same. My Mom is healthy and happy and more full of life today than she was 4 years ago. She was able to use her own stem cells for her transplant, but someday she may need a donor. I pray there is someone out there that can do for her what I hope I can do for this little girl. This inspires me daily. I look forward to sharing this journey with you.
It is no longer rare, it is all around us. In the blood, the breast, the brain, the bones; everywhere. And it often sneaks up on you. I have 2 Aunts who have beat breast cancer and a mother who is defying the odds against Blastic Mantle Cell Lymphoma. If you have watched a family member or close friend fight this disease, you know the feeling of hopelessness and rage; fatigue and sadness; fear and despair. But you also know the hope of positive test results, the joy that brings relief, and the optimism that medicine provides.
January 2007 was a life changing month for me. I accepted a new job, moved to "the" big city, and within a week learned that my Mom had been diagnosed with cancer. Not just any cancer, but one of the most rare and aggressive cancers that ironically enough, typically strikes men in their 60s. My Mom was 46 1/2 and within a month of celebrating her engagement to her future husband. Where in the book of life does that qualify as "fair"? The odds of her making it 5 years was about a 60% chance (much better than the 15% only 5 years before). She accepted the plan for the most aggressive chemo treatment on the books and was admitted shortly thereafter to begin her battle. It was made clear that she would need a stem cell/bone marrow transplant when the chemo regimen was done. Everyone in the family who was eligible was tested. The most likely match would be found among a sibling, however this was not the case for my Mom. No family member is a match.
This is my inspiration. The rage, desperation and lack of control that I felt when I was told there was nothing physically that I could do to help save my Mom, was paralyzing. When your personality is to fix, heal, comfort and love, how do you release the anger you have towards God for not giving you the right HLA composition? Well, you forgive yourself for being angry with God, because it isn't his fault. Then you forgive your body for "betraying" you, and you look for other opportunities to comfort and love those suffering. For me, I placed my bone marrow in the National Bone Marrow Registry Database hoping that someday there may be someone in the same situation who could use my help.
In September 2010, I was contacted via email by the Be The Match - National Bone Marrow Registry (NBMR) telling me that I was a possible match for someone. Was I still interested? Yes! In early December, they contacted to ask if they could test my cheek swab for further typing. Yes! Why haven't you done it already? :-) In late December, they contacted to tell me that I was a match, but they needed to do further blood testing to ensure I was healthy and the best match. 4 viles of blood later... I received a call on Friday, January 7. "Erin, you are the donor of choice for a 2 year little girl battling Acute Leukemia. Are you still interested in donating your bone marrow?"
The collection date is set for March 2nd. I have more testing to complete and more to learn about the donation process, but I am so excited to be giving the gift of hope and life to this little girl and her family. I hope the feelings of hopelessness, rage and exhaustion that her family must be feeling will dissolve with this donation. A moment of pain (via a big needle in my hip) will be worth the opportunity to give this little girl a future. Her first day of school, first bike ride, first kiss, her own Prince Charming. I pray that this is her cure.
Join me on my journey as I document the physial process of donation, as well as my emotional and faith journey. I titled this blog "Our Numbered Days" because David reminds us in Psalm 90 and 39 that we are mortal; we have only today. Embrace today and the opportunities that are given. Not one of us is promised a tomorrow. What a gift it is to be reminded to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the moment we are in. I find love and opportunity in this moment and encourage you to do the same. My Mom is healthy and happy and more full of life today than she was 4 years ago. She was able to use her own stem cells for her transplant, but someday she may need a donor. I pray there is someone out there that can do for her what I hope I can do for this little girl. This inspires me daily. I look forward to sharing this journey with you.
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