My Journey Begins

Nearly every life is touched by cancer.
It is no longer rare, it is all around us. In the blood, the breast, the brain, the bones; everywhere. And it often sneaks up on you. I have 2 Aunts who have beat breast cancer and a mother who is defying the odds against Blastic Mantle Cell Lymphoma. If you have watched a family member or close friend fight this disease, you know the feeling of hopelessness and rage; fatigue and sadness; fear and despair. But you also know the hope of positive test results, the joy that brings relief, and the optimism that medicine provides.

January 2007 was a life changing month for me. I accepted a new job, moved to "the" big city, and within a week learned that my Mom had been diagnosed with cancer. Not just any cancer, but one of the most rare and aggressive cancers that ironically enough, typically strikes men in their 60s. My Mom was 46 1/2 and within a month of celebrating her engagement to her future husband. Where in the book of life does that qualify as "fair"? The odds of her making it 5 years was about a 60% chance (much better than the 15% only 5 years before). She accepted the plan for the most aggressive chemo treatment on the books and was admitted shortly thereafter to begin her battle. It was made clear that she would need a stem cell/bone marrow transplant when the chemo regimen was done. Everyone in the family who was eligible was tested. The most likely match would be found among a sibling, however this was not the case for my Mom. No family member is a match.

This is my inspiration. The rage, desperation and lack of control that I felt when I was told there was nothing physically that I could do to help save my Mom, was paralyzing. When your personality is to fix, heal, comfort and love, how do you release the anger you have towards God for not giving you the right HLA composition? Well, you forgive yourself for being angry with God, because it isn't his fault. Then you forgive your body for "betraying" you, and you look for other opportunities to comfort and love those suffering. For me, I placed my bone marrow in the National Bone Marrow Registry Database hoping that someday there may be someone in the same situation who could use my help.

In September 2010, I was contacted via email by the Be The Match - National Bone Marrow Registry (NBMR) telling me that I was a possible match for someone. Was I still interested? Yes! In early December, they contacted to ask if they could test my cheek swab for further typing. Yes! Why haven't you done it already? :-) In late December, they contacted to tell me that I was a match, but they needed to do further blood testing to ensure I was healthy and the best match. 4 viles of blood later... I received a call on Friday, January 7. "Erin, you are the donor of choice for a 2 year little girl battling Acute Leukemia. Are you still interested in donating your bone marrow?"

The collection date is set for March 2nd. I have more testing to complete and more to learn about the donation process, but I am so excited to be giving the gift of hope and life to this little girl and her family. I hope the feelings of hopelessness, rage and exhaustion that her family must be feeling will dissolve with this donation. A moment of pain (via a big needle in my hip) will be worth the opportunity to give this little girl a future. Her first day of school, first bike ride, first kiss, her own Prince Charming. I pray that this is her cure.

Join me on my journey as I document the physial process of donation, as well as my emotional and faith journey. I titled this blog "Our Numbered Days" because David reminds us in Psalm 90 and 39 that we are mortal; we have only today. Embrace today and the opportunities that are given. Not one of us is promised a tomorrow. What a gift it is to be reminded to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the moment we are in. I find love and opportunity in this moment and encourage you to do the same. My Mom is healthy and happy and more full of life today than she was 4 years ago. She was able to use her own stem cells for her transplant, but someday she may need a donor. I pray there is someone out there that can do for her what I hope I can do for this little girl. This inspires me daily. I look forward to sharing this journey with you.